i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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