I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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