You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
