The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I need a beard to bite.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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