omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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