She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
