it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
