Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
