i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
