Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I didn't notice because vodka
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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