I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
