doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize