He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
How's work?
Spinning.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
