wanna go halves on a baby?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
