I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
