You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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