I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
