my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
