Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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