How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
