You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
