well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
