I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
