How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
