i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
