Just cropdusted the office
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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