id be glad to
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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