bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
