I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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