IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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