i don't like sucking hair
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
