Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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