i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
