i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
50% drunk capacity currently
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
