Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
smell my finger.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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