he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm at about main and main street
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Bring me that man meat
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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