i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
