If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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