I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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