Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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