so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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