I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i think my mom watched the whole time
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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