im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
