Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
