she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
His nipple licking is glorious
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