I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
