i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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