and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize