He disabled his match.com account in front of me
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
