Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
