just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
