oh god the rape fog is back!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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