It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
