a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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