When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize