I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
