Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize