small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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