My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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